(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
Welcome to the birth prep podcast. I'm Taylor, your birth bestie, who's here to support you as you plan and prepare for the unmedicated birth of your dreams. If you're ready to ditch the fear, conquer the hospital hustle, support that bump and bod, and walk into the delivery room like the HGIC you were born to be, then buckle up, babe.
This is where it all goes down. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the birth prep podcast. It's time for HGIC Hotline, where I answer your questions right here on the podcast.
We've got some juicy ones today. Are you guys ready for this? We have some good ones. Thank you to the ladies who submitted questions.
If you want to submit your questions for the chance of being featured in a future podcast episode, check out the show notes to submit yours. Let's dive right in. Jenna asked, how can I tell if my provider is actually supportive of my unmedicated birth, or if he's just telling me what I want to hear? This is a really great question and something that we should all consider.
Here are some red flags to watch out for. We will start there, and then we'll talk about what a truly supportive provider looks like. The first one is when I see a lot saying something like, well, we'll see how it goes, instead of affirming your plan.
Towards the end, we see this a lot, and if this is happening, you might want to consider running. They'll start to push interventions for just in case without any real reason. I experienced this a lot with even C-sections.
A provider walked in and was like, let's schedule you for your C-section. I'm like, what? Wait, we haven't even talked about this. Wrong room.
And she was like, no, you have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and we should just schedule one just in case. I'm like, oh no, we don't do just in case around here. I see this a lot in just in case your baby's too big to birth.
It's like, oh, is my body really going to make a baby that's too big to birth? And why aren't you remembering that my pelvis moves? If they are dismissing your questions about anything related to your birth experience, I see a lot of women try to bring up their birth plan earlier in their pregnancy, and they're like, oh, we're not going to talk about that till we get closer to the end. If you're asking a question, and you are more confused after getting the answer, that's a red flag. And then obviously just being straight up condescending, laughing, rolling their eyes, making comments like, oh, you're going to be begging for it, but okay, good luck.
I'd like to see you try. And yes, some doctors literally actually say these things. But some providers are sneakier about it.
They use language that undermines your confidence. Oh, most first-time moms don't actually make it. That's a good plan, but you definitely want to keep the epidural in mind.
Red flag. So let's talk about what we want to see. Some green flags, if you will, signs of a truly supportive provider.
They openly discuss your birth plan with you, and they support your decisions. If you're saying, hey, how do you typically support an unmedicated birth experience, and they don't have an answer for you, they probably aren't your guy. We're looking for someone who is encouraging you to trust your body and offers you strategies to actually help you pull off your goal.
We are absolutely looking for someone who respects informed consent and presents all of the options fairly. I'm sorry, but if you're going to sit here and tell me worst case for one option and best case for the other, that's manipulation. And ideally, we'd love to see a provider that has a track record of attending unmedicated births successfully.
Keyword there. Taylor, that all sounds great, but I'm still kind of on the fence. I don't really know which way they're leaning and if they're just really good at what they do.
Great. Let's test it, shall we? Ask about the hospital policies for movement, for monitoring, for pain relief options. Get curious and see how they respond.
How a provider responds will tell you a lot more than the actual answer. Express your goals and see how they react. See if they're offering encouragement.
Here's a great question to ask. How do you handle a mom who's laboring without meds? And then just listen to what they say. If they start pushing back, if they start deflecting, if they try to change the subject, consider finding somebody else.
We talk all about finding the perfect for you provider inside the birth prep course. And this is just one of those things where it's like, if they're not perfect for you, great. I'm so glad you know that now before it's too late, fire them and find somebody else.
I know that's easier said than done, but at least look into your options and see what you can do to change providers. Because choosing your provider is, I believe, the most important decision you can make for your birth experience. Thanks for that question, Jenna.
That was a great one. Next question is from Isabella. She said, you talk a lot about needing the right mindset.
How do I actually do that? I love this question. I started working on mindset stuff well before I started working on birth preparation and I was able to apply what I had learned in a different area of my life to my birth experience and created some pretty fantastic results. Before you can even start changing your mindset, I think you should understand the power of your mindset.
One of the best arguments for the power of mindset is the fear-tension-pain cycle. Fear creates tension in your body and that tension creates the pain that we feel during our birth experience. If you can eliminate a lot of the fear, you can eliminate a lot of the pain, which is crazy.
Our bodies are literally amazing. I'm personally living proof of this. I've had a pain-free birth because I did the mindset work and I eliminated those fears and I shifted things and I released a lot of what I normally would have held on with white knuckles.
When you are able to get in that confident, relaxed state with your mindset, you are able to help your labor flow smoother and usually faster because you're allowing your body to open and release and relax, which is what it needs to do to do the work. I truly believe if your plan goes sideways or completely flies out the window, mindset is what keeps you steady. So here are three ways that you can actually start training your mindset today.
So we see this one a lot in the birth space, is birth affirmations. And I'm not gonna lie, I used to think the concept was really stupid, but I always looked at it as me giving myself this crazy thought and trying to convince myself of it by just saying it over and over and over again. But the truth is I actually had to believe the thought that I kept telling myself for it to actually do any good.
I like to call them practiced positive thoughts. Because when my brain inevitably gives me doubt and fear and starts sitting in that stuff, I can be like, oh, wait, we prepared for this. Here's the truth.
So I say these need to be rooted in truth for them to actually work. You know, a great way to do this is going straight to scripture because we know that's true. My body was made for this.
Psalms 139 14. God is within her, she will not fail. Psalms 46 5. So the first thing you're going to do is make a list of things that are true and that you believe that you can get behind and start practicing those so that they are second nature when the fear and the doubt creep up.
Because they will, that is how your mind is literally wired. Your brain's job every single day of your life is to keep you safe and alive. And it does this by feeding you thoughts like, hey, don't touch the stove.
It's hot. You're like, okay, I'm not going to touch the stove because I will get hurt. Your brain's not ever going to want to be like, yeah, let's push a watermelon out of that tiny little hole we've got.
No, that sounds really scary to your brain. Your brain likes the comfort zone. Your brain likes to stay safe because by doing the same things that it's always done, it's kept you alive.
And you're like, oh, we're going to just keep doing this. Except unfortunately you don't have a choice, girl. Your brain's smart, but it's not that smart.
It doesn't really get on board with that. So we can get it on board with these positive practiced thoughts. On that note, next tip, answer any what-ifs that keep coming up.
If your brain is feeding you like, whoa, what if this happens? And what if this happens? Like what if I have to have a C-section? What if we have baby in the car on the way to the hospital because we waited too long? What if, answer the questions, make a game plan, understand your options, have an understanding so that you can make your brain be a little bit more quiet. I'll tell you a quick story. When my oldest was about, I don't know, she was probably like two years old.
She had just moved into a big girl bed. We were rearranging her room and stuff and she woke up in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night.
Well, it might have been, I don't know. Your girl stays up late sometimes. And I was downstairs on the couch still and out of nowhere, like quiet, dead quiet house, everyone's sleeping and she starts screaming bloody murder.
Like somebody is attacking her. And I'm like, so my brain goes to immediate worst case scenario. Somebody has scaled the side of the house.
They have broken to her room. They are now trying to take my daughter. They are hurting her.
She is scared to death. So I book it up the right. She is laying in her bed and she's sitting there.
She's pointing at this pile. I don't remember what it was, stuffed animals, uh, clothes, something like that. Something that wasn't there before.
And cause we were going through stuff and I flick on the lights. She looks so terrified, but then as soon as she realizes, oh, it's my stuff, the fear leaves her. I could see it, leave her body.
As soon as I realized that she's okay, the fear is gone. So it's like our brains, both sheep was probably thinking like, oh my gosh, something's trying to hurt me. That's a monster, blah, blah, blah.
And our brains both went to worst case scenario because they didn't have enough information because again, our brains are wired to keep us safe. So it's going to be the go-to. So as soon as we got a little bit more information, we were able to take a deep breath.
We were not as scared. The fear went away. And so did the tension in our bodies.
I literally saw it leave. So I always say like, flick the lights on. If your brain is going around and around in circles, flick the lights on, doesn't have much room.
Your brain's just going to have to sit down. Once you get all the information, okay, brain, what if this is what's going to happen? Now we have the answer. Your brain doesn't have to ask that question anymore.
And I know that seems so stupid, simple, but it is incredibly effective. And then the final one is what do we believe about birth? Really dive into those beliefs, give back any birth stories that are not serving you any fears that you can identify, understand like, okay, where's this coming from? I was so scared to have a breech birth with my fourth baby. And I had never been scared of that before.
And I was having my first home birth and I was making all these big, beautiful plans. And then I realized, oh my gosh, when I became pregnant with him, I heard a story from one of my family members about how they were planning this beautiful unmedicated birth and blah, blah, blah. And then they weren't able to get the baby that wasn't that the baby was breached.
They were not able to turn the baby. So she decided on a C section. She was probably pressured into one.
Let's be real, but she had made the choice with her providers that she was going to do a C section. And I held onto that story. And that was what was fueling that fear.
So I was like, oh gosh, well, just because that happened to her, doesn't mean that's what's going to happen to me. So I can prepare for it. I can educate myself on it, but I don't need to carry that story into my birth space with me.
On the opposite side of that, your brain loves evidence. So if you can find some positive stories that align with what you are trying to pull off and say, hey brain, look, she did it. That means I can do it too.
So those are my top tips for starting to prepare your mindset for your birth experience. I actually have a mindset, a birth mindset workbook. I will put it in the show notes for you guys.
It's free. You can grab it, download it to your phone and start doing this work. There's journal prompts in there.
It gives a better explanation. Maybe not a better one. I mean, obviously hanging out with me is the best and I'm just kidding, but I, I explain all this stuff in there and give you some journal prompts to actually get this work done.
And to wrap it up for today, we have a money. She asked if I only have a few weeks left, what's the most important thing to focus on the way I get this question all the time. Why do I not have a podcast episode about this? We need like some fast track birth prep vibes in here.
This is a great question. And here are my thoughts. First and foremost, if you do not have a birth plan, make one today.
Today is the day get very clear on what your non-negotiables are. That way you can communicate it with your team that day. If you want to do a written birth plan, like a physical birth plan, I always recommend one-sided sheet of paper, very simple highlight, draw attention to your non-negotiables, whatever, put a box around them, put some color around it, whatever.
Keep it very, very simple black text on a white piece of paper. I know it's tempting to make it pretty, but the odds of them reading something that's really detailed and the text gets lost in the design and things like that, we want to up our odds of it actually being read. You can make a pretty one for you.
That's totally fine if you like the pretty stuff. I mean, I get it. I love it.
But less is more when we are handing something to our care team. You are not the only person they are taking care of that day, guaranteed. And please, please, please hear me.
A piece of paper does not replace the conversations. You need to be the one making these decisions for yourself and for your baby. Make the decision that you feel is best given the information and the resources that you have available to you.
But I will say what my plan would be if I was having an unmedicated birth in the hospital, these would be my non-negotiables. No pain medication, any way, shape or form, no Pitocin. I don't want anything hanging off of me, no wires, no lines, no nothing.
So I would opt out of IV fluids. I would also opt out of continuous monitoring and choose intermittent monitoring instead where they come in and do the monitoring intermittently. Absolutely no cervical checks.
I would be laboring and pushing in whatever position I please. Hands and knees is kind of just my go-to position for transition and when I'm pushing. I would be eating anytime I felt the need to eat.
My body is doing a lot of work and it deserves the fuel that it needs to get it done. The vibes would be quiet, cozy, and as uninterrupted as possible. I will be pushing when I am ready to push, not when someone tells me to push.
And I will push with intuition, not somebody counting at me. No purple pushing, no coach pushing, none of that. Everybody can be silent while I do my thing.
I honestly don't know if there's a term for this, but a hands-free delivery. If you are catching my baby, you are catching my baby. You are not touching me in any way, shape, or form.
Thank you very much. If you need help making your birth plan, grab my birth plan guide. It's free.
I'll put it in the show notes for you guys. It has all the decisions that you need to make for a typical birth experience, including the decisions that you need to make for your precious little newborn. Please take those incredibly seriously.
Inform yourself. A lot of the decisions that you make that day for your newborn are lifelong decisions. Choose wisely, please.
Once you have your birth plan, at your very next appointment, I know you're going every week now at this point, talk to your provider about your plan. Gauge their reaction. Are they supportive or are they sketchy? If not, refer back to question number one.
You might want to switch your provider. And yes, as long as your baby is inside of your body, it is not too late. Next thing, you're going to spend a little bit of time mastering some pain management techniques.
I would try to learn at least three to four go-to coping strategies. I know we're crunched for time, but we're going to practice our deep breathing. We're going to practice our different labor positions.
We're going to practice counter-pressure with our partner. Look up a quick tutorial on hip squeezes, possibly the rebozo scarf, relaxation techniques, things like that. You also might want to set up a nice little labor playlist to really get you in the mood.
I prefer worship music if you're doing that. Actually, you know what I did last time? We did lullabies last time, and not just any lullabies, the lullabies that I have rocked my babies to as I've nursed them to sleep, as I've sat there countless nights at this point in my rocking chair, rocking every single one of my babies in the same chair with the same lullabies. And let me just tell you, the oxytocin was a flowing.
I literally woke up from a nap and was nine centimeters. We love it. And I know I just told you no cervical checks, but I was also at home and I asked for the cervical check.
And I knew that my provider wasn't going to break my waters or do a membrane sweep or anything like that without permission. So I trusted her to do one. And I also didn't know the number until after my birth.
I just wanted to know if they were staying or not, because it quite literally didn't feel like I was in labor. Pro tip, as you are mastering those pain management techniques as fast as you possibly can, have your partner practice with you so that they are able to be an incredible support for you that day. The next thing you're going to want to spend some time on is getting in the right mindset.
We are trying to say goodbye to as much fear as humanly possible, because as we already know, fear equals tension, tension equals pain. And as we are trying to go unmedicated, we obviously want to minimize as much pain as we possibly can. We also don't want to get into that cycle because it is a self-fulfilling cycle, because guess what? When you're in pain, that brings more fear and around and around it goes.
So we are going to journal out your biggest birth worries, and then you're going to rewrite them as truths. So if the fear is what if I can't handle the pain, then we are going to make a game plan and tell our brain, hey brain, this is the truth. Our body was meant for this work.
We can handle the pain. We can get to the other side of this. It's one day of pain for a lifetime of love, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever you need to put there, right? Whatever fears are coming up, talk through them with yourself, journal them out, whatever you got to do and try to get rid of as many of them as possible.
And I won't go too much into mindset because we did just talk all about that, but that's probably at the bare minimum, do that one. Okay. You need to have some conversations.
I know we already talked about having the conversation with our provider, but we really need to get clear with our support team, have a real conversation with your birth partner, tell them what you need from them, what the expectations are, what helps you relax. So, hey partner, this would really help me during this time. Your partner probably already knows these things if they're like your actual partner, but maybe you're having mom, mother-in-law, sister, friend, doula, communicate that with them.
What helps you unwind? What helps you relax? What helps you stay calm? What's going to help that oxytocin flow? And then finally have a quick conversation about how to advocate for you if it's needed. When you're navigating birth in the hospital with a whole team and with a lot of stuff going on, it might be helpful to have like a little code word to be like, okay, I need to, I need to really zone in with my partner for a little bit. Maybe you need reassurance.
Maybe you need to discuss a decision that you, that has come up in the moment. Maybe you're just like really done and you need some help pivoting, whatever the case may be a little code word that he, that they could just be like, oh, yep. They really, really need me to zone in right now.
One more skill that I really want you to have in your pocket is learning how to advocate for yourself. This is a thing I teach my students and I'm going to teach you right now about using your brain, B-R-A-I-N. What are the benefits? What are the risks? What are the alternatives? What does my intuition say? And what if I do nothing or nothing yet? What if we watch and wait? These are incredible questions to ask in the moment.
If you do not have enough information to make an informed decision, those are some questions that you can ask to better understand the situation so that you can make a more informed decision. And remember you get to say no to anything you don't want and know how to say it confidently. Practice saying no to people like a confident no.
If you're a people pleaser like I used to be, oh my gosh, dear Lord, help me. Practice saying no to little stupid stuff now so that when it's time to say no to hard stuff in the moment when you've literally been contracting for hours and life's getting rough, you can say no confidently. And if you are a Jesus believing girly, make sure you are seeking the Lord, praying over your birth experience and your baby and your team.
There is truly no better birth partner than the Prince of Peace. I'm telling you what. And with any time you have remaining, rest.
Focus on giving your body whatever it needs in those last few weeks. And remember you were made for this. And one quick little note on all this.
Even if you're prepping fast, you're not behind. You're exactly where you need to be. Birth isn't about getting it perfect.
You can really truly do a lot in just a few days. So don't give up on yourself. Do the work as fast as you can.
Get it in and you're going to crush it. So that is all that I have for you today. I'm going to put those two freebies in the show notes for you, the mindset workbook and the birth plan guide.
Make sure you grab those before you head out. Feel free to submit your questions for future episodes. I'm loving these.
And if you have more than just a couple days to prepare, check out the birth prep course. You can do all of it in about six weeks. It's there's a lot in there.
I'm not going to lie. There's a lot of stuff in there, but you can absolutely get through it. It's all really great stuff.
But the sooner you get in there, the better because I do weekly support calls inside the HGAC squad Facebook group. If you're fresh pregnant and want to join, we could be hanging out for like six, seven, eight months. Anyways, all those links are in the show notes.
I think my Penelli is ready for bed. So I'm going to hop off of here. This was such a pleasure as always.
Thank you ladies for submitting your questions. I will chat with you guys again next week as always happy prepping.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
