(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
Welcome to the birth prep podcast. I'm Taylor, your birth bestie, who's here to support you as you plan and prepare for the unmedicated birth of your dreams. If you're ready to ditch the fear, conquer the hospital hustle, support that bump and bod, and walk into the delivery room like the HGIC you were born to be, then buckle up, babe.
This is where it all goes down. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the birth prep podcast. Today's episode might ruffle some feathers and that's okay.
I am not here to be everyone's favorite voice in the birth world. I'm here to be real, to tell the truth, and to help you figure out what's right for your birth. And today we're asking the big question, to doula or not to doula? I hear it all the time, especially from doulas and I love them, but I hear doulas are a no brainer and everyone should have one.
And if you're birthing at the hospital, it's a, it's a must. You must have one. And while I get the intention behind that, I don't agree.
So let's get into it. This episode is all about helping you figure out if hiring a doula is the right move for you. Not based on pressure, not based on someone else's experience, but based on what you need and want for your birth.
So let's start with the basics. What is a doula? A doula is a trained birth support person, someone who offers emotional, physical, and even informational support before, during, and sometimes after birth. They don't do medical stuff.
They don't deliver your baby. They're not nurses. They're not midwives, but what they do is incredibly valuable.
They help you feel calm and confident in the moment. They offer counter pressure, massage, suggestions for position changes. So very hands-on if you want them to be, um, they can help facilitate communication between you and the staff.
And sometimes they're the only person in the room who knows what a physiological uninterrupted labor actually looks like. And that can be very valuable. All of this matters, especially in a hospital where the culture might be very intervention forward.
So yes, doulas can be amazing. They've helped so many women have beautiful, empowered births, and some doulas are out here truly changing lives. I love them.
I respect them, but let's zoom out a little bit. Here's where I want to lovingly challenge some narratives. A doula is not a substitute for your voice, for your mindset, for your education, for your ability to advocate.
I've seen it happen so many times. A mom hires a doula and thinks she's to go. She does a prep.
She doesn't educate herself. She doesn't train her mindset or loop her partner in. And then he's disappointed when the doula couldn't stop the snowball of interventions.
That's not the doula's fault. That's a prep problem. Okay.
Hear me loud and clear. That's a prep problem. Hiring a doula doesn't automatically mean your birth will go how you want it to go.
They can't read your mind. They can't undo any hospital policy, and they can't hold up your whole birth experience on their own. So many women outsource their confidence.
They think, oh, if I just hire a doula, I'll be fine. Outsourcing your confidence is one of the worst things you can do. Okay.
If you don't know what you want or why you want it or how to speak up for it, you're not going to get the experience that you deserve and are hoping for. A doula can support your plan, but they can't be your plan. All right, next, I'm going to get a little bit personal.
I'm personally team no doula. And before you come for me, this isn't me saying you shouldn't have one. This is just me telling the truth about what's worked for me.
I didn't hire a doula because I became that person for myself. I did the work. I prepped hard.
I trained my mind. I built my confidence. I educated myself on every thing that I could possibly educate myself on truly.
I taught my husband how to support me and created a plan that he could help me execute. And also, I was having my baby at home. I wanted peace and quiet and intimacy in my space.
I'm the less people, the better kind of girl during labor. I didn't want anyone extra in the room, even someone loving and supportive and all of that. For me, adding another person felt like adding more energy to manage, so that was a no for me.
And it's not that I recommend skipping the support if you've truly trained your body, your mind, and your team. That all takes a lot of work. It takes intention.
It takes prep. But it's not like you can't also still have support in that. I joke about it, but it's serious.
It's what I created it for. But I talk about the birth prep course, and I'm like, you go from zero to doula real quick. And it's like, you can be that for yourself if you want to be.
You don't have to have a doula. And I don't like that narrative that we have to do this, and it's a must-have, and it's necessary, especially for the hospital. I just simply don't agree.
If you do the work and choose to have a doula, that's totally fine. You can absolutely do that, and I think it's a wise decision to have extra support if you feel like you need it. You might be listening and thinking, well, how do I know if I should hire one? Here's some reasons why I think you might want to consider it.
If you are new to the birth world, and you're just really overwhelmed by all of it. If you're feeling like your partner isn't quite prepared or confident to support you the way you want and need to be supported. If you have a history of trauma or anxiety that you think could affect your birth that day.
If you want hands-on physical support during labor, like your nurses and stuff. There are some that do it, and it's great and wonderful. But for the most part, they're pretty hands-off.
They do all the monitoring and stuff like that. They're not really there to support your body and what it's doing. They're there to support the hospital flow.
So if you want that hands-on support, even someone extra to tag in when your husband's getting tired because labor can take a while, that's something that I think would be great. If you need a buffer between you and pushy staff, they're not there to do the work for you, but they are there to be an additional voice in the room. Or if you're just feeling that you need an extra set of experienced hands, and that would be really helpful for you, then a doula might be exactly what you need.
And I fully support that decision. That is an intentional choice, not just blanket rules, right? Your birth, your needs, your team. But just remember, a doula is support, not salvation.
Okay? Does everybody hear that from me today? They are a support. They are not going to be the missing piece to pulling off all of your dreams and desires with no further work. She amplifies the work that you've done.
She doesn't replace it. Okay? So I have some little journaling prompts or whatever, little things to help you reflect a little bit and help you make this decision. So grab your little notes app or something, quick pen and paper, and write these down.
Do I know what kind of birth I want and why? Two, have I educated myself on my rights and options in a hospital setting? Three, have I prepped my partner or main support person on what to expect and how to help me? Four, do I feel confident advocating for myself if pushback comes? Five, have I trained my mind to handle pain, intensity, and change? And six, am I craving more support or more space? If you're answering no to most of those, it might be worth considering a doula and really, truly diving into some real prep work, please. But if you're answering yes across the board, you may not need a doula. You might just be able to do that for yourself.
Here's what I want you to remember today. Okay? This is what I want you to walk away with. You can doula, you cannot doula.
What matters most is either way, you're the HGIC, the head girl in charge. That means you've prepared, you've educated yourself, you've built your mindset, you've designed your space, you've trained your team, and you're walking into that birth room as the decision maker, not the passenger. Because doulas are amazing, but they don't make your birth.
You do. So whether you doula or not, make sure you're doing the work, make sure you're going in informed, equipped, and grounded. That's how you get the experience that you're dreaming of with or without that extra person in the room.
All right, girl, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. I'm just like truly curious. Are you team doula, team no doula for your birth? And why DM me on Instagram, tell me where you're at with this.
I'd love to hear from you. And if you're realizing you've got some prep to do after this episode, I've got you. The birth prep course will take you from confused and overwhelmed to confident and ready.
When I say like zero to doula real quick, I mean it, whether you hire a doula or not, this course will help you become your own best birth support. And honestly, right now is the perfect time to join because on April 5th, get ready for this. I am hosting the HGIC get prepped retreat.
This is going to be a two hour ish. We'll see how long it goes. You know, I'm planning for two hours.
It's going to be an action based retreat situation. So we're no longer going to be just thinking and reading and educating ourselves on the prep work. We're going to be doing the This is the ultimate hands-on birth prep experience for moms who want to be ready for their unmedicated hospital birth.
It's birth prep isn't just about knowing it's about doing because like you can spend hours reading books and watching YouTube videos and hoping you'll remember everything when the big day comes, or you could show up, take action and leave this retreat like fully prepared. We're going to be doing a birth plan bootcamp, some pain management practice. We're going to be simulating some contractions and actually practicing in real time.
We're going to have a birth partner strategy session, and I would love for you guys to bring your partners. If you're able to, um, we're going to do some hospital hustle role play, have a little mindset magic moment. We're going to be doing this stuff in real time together, and it's going to be a powerful thing.
All my birth prep course girlies are getting free tickets. So it's the perfect time to join. Um, if you don't want to join the birth prep course and you're interested in coming, the tickets are one 97, but if you join the birth prep course before the fifth, you are going to get a free ticket.
I will put all the information in the show notes for you. I'm so excited to hang out with my girlies. This is not just another passive class.
It's a live, interactive hands-on event, and I cannot wait to do it with you guys. I love doing this work with you. It is an honor, truly an honor.
Um, so thank you for being here. Thank you for doing this work. I'm so proud of you for doing it.
We are truly the generation that is flipping the script and I'm so here for it until next time, as always, happy prepping.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
