(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
Welcome to the birth prep podcast. I'm Taylor, your birth bestie, who's here to support you as you plan and prepare for the unmedicated birth of your dreams. If you're ready to ditch the fear, conquer the hospital hustle, support that bump and bod, and walk into the delivery room like the HGIC you were born to be, then buckle up, babe.
This is where it all goes down. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the birth prep podcast. If you're planning an unmedicated birth in the hospital, this is an episode that you cannot afford to skip because I'm going to be telling you what no one else will.
The hospital is not set up for the kind of birth that you want, and I'm not saying that to scare you. I'm saying it because too many women walk in hoping for a certain kind of experience and walking out feeling disappointed, feeling steamrolled, or straight up traumatized. I already know that you want peaceful and powerful unmedicated birth, and I want that for you too, but it doesn't just happen.
So today, I'm breaking down what it actually takes to go unmedicated in the hospital. What it really requires, what most people get wrong, and what you can do right now to set yourself up for the kind of birth that leaves the nurses saying, oh my gosh, how did she do that? One that leaves you feeling as proud as can be. So first, I want to paint a little picture for you.
I can't tell you how many women I've talked to who said, I meant to go unmedicated, but once I got to the hospital, everything moved so fast. I felt so out of control. They started hooking me up and checking me and offering medication, and I panicked.
I didn't know how to say no. I didn't have a plan. I didn't know I had any other options.
I thought everything that they were telling me that day were things that I thought were required to birth my baby because I thought that that's what they would do that day. They would say, okay, she wants an unmedicated birth. We're going to do that unless we have to do something different.
Keywords have to. A tale as old as time and a tale that's mine. This happens all the time.
It's not because providers are evil, although some of them are really awful. It's not because your nurses are out to get you. It's because the system is rigged.
It really, I'm just going to say it. It's truly rigged against you. It sets women up for failure intentionally because if you do the digging, you are more than welcome to try to prove me wrong.
You're not going to because I've done the digging. I'm confident when I say this, the same people that own the hospitals and teach our doctors and create the hospital birth prep class curriculum are the same people that produce Pitocin and the leading postpartum and anxiety drugs. They have their hands in literally every single little piece of the pie.
If you think your unmedicated birth is more important to them than their bottom line, I would really urge you to think again. The fact of the matter is physiological births are bad for their bottom line. Physiological births don't make money.
They want you to get that epidural. They want to start the cascade of interventions. They want you to end up on the operating table.
Why? Because that creates demand for their services and repeat customers. I can't tell you how many conversations that I've had with women where they're telling me their birth story and then I tell them mine and it's a home birth and they're like, oh my gosh, I would have died at home. And I have to hold back because I'm like, oh, you might've actually been totally fine at home and wouldn't have ended up in a C-section.
We don't know that for sure, but I could assert that probably a lot of the experiences that you guys are having are manufactured and manipulated experiences. I'm not saying the doctors are doing it. They're just doing what they're taught how to do.
But the people who are making the money, the big fat dollars are the ones who decide what we're teaching the doctors. The typical things that they do in the hospital, like continual monitoring and cervical checks and IV fluids, evidence tells us those things do not create better outcomes. Sometimes they even create worse outcomes.
When the care is not evidence-based, what is it based on then? Convenience? Money? Covering their butts? I'm not telling you this to scare you. I'm telling you this to consider thinking about it from the lens of if I'm walking into a system that wants to see me fail, how am I going to have to act that day to make sure that I don't? That's a big shift in perspective than what we're taught to have. Taught to trust the hospital and trust the doctors and they know best and they're there to help us.
And again, I'm not saying the providers and the nurses and all of them are bad people. A lot of them probably think they're doing exactly what they need to do to help us. But there's this fantasy that I think a lot of us walk into birth with.
It's just like, oh, well, we'll just see how it goes. And or like, even like I have a high pain tolerance, I'll be fine. Or my provider said that they support unmedicated birth, so I'm good.
But hospitals are built for managed birth, not physiological birth, which means they expect you to be monitored and coached and medicated. They're trained to watch the clock and the chart, not your instincts. They're set up to manage you, not support you.
And I get it. Maybe you did some prep. Maybe you took a hospital birth class.
Maybe you downloaded a birth plan template. Maybe you watched some YouTube videos, followed a crunchy birth girl on Instagram. And now you're hoping that that'll be enough to go toe to toe with a system built around speed, control and policy.
Girlie, you need more than vibes. You need a strategy. So now that we've had a little wake up call, that was a lot more than I intended.
Sorry about that. I get real heated about this stuff. Okay? It's not, it's not okay.
It gets me real worked up, really grinds my gears. But next we're going to talk about what it actually takes. So let me break it down.
Here's what it actually takes to pull off an unmedicated hospital birth in real life. Number one, a clear and functional strategy, not just a cute birth plan, not just a list of preferences. You need a full on plan to navigate the system, how to handle pushback, how to delay or decline interventions, how to communicate with confidence and how to keep your peace when policies start creeping in because a yes and labor can't be undone.
It can, you can withdraw consent, but after it's already been done, it's done. You have to know where your boundaries are before you are in that moment. Number two, mental and emotional conditioning or training or preparing or whatever you want to call it.
Birth is not just physical. If your mind is not trained, your body can't do what it's I used to laugh at this little statement, but now I know it is incredibly true. Whatever you believe about birth, your body believes you.
This is way more than little affirmations. This is identity work and it's work that most women are not doing. Most women don't want to touch this work because it challenges what they've always believed.
That's why a lot of people don't like me and that's okay. I'm not here to be liked. I'm here to help you.
I'm here to help the women that actually want to do the work that's required to pull off an exceptional experience. And that means thinking about who you're going to be when it gets hard. That means thinking about what thoughts you're going to practice now so that they're there when you need them.
What anchors you in faith instead of fear? You need more than good intentions. You need a mindset that's been trained to show up on game day. If you've had a previous traumatic experience, you need to work through that and heal it.
And that usually, and actually always, comes with facing the fact that it was your responsibility to know better and do better. And you didn't. And it's not all your fault, right? It's not, you know, we've experienced crappy things.
I definitely have. But I had to come to terms with the fact that I should have protected myself better. And I should have known better.
And I didn't. And I can't go back and change it. I can only hold space for that girl that just didn't know.
But my healing had to go hand in hand with taking responsibility for that experience. Was I still a victim? Absolutely. But I was the one that walked in there and I was the one that didn't say anything.
And I was the one that didn't know. And that's hard work to do. And not everybody wants to do it.
And not everybody's going to do it, even if they want to. Healing from my births was difficult. Healing in general is difficult.
Like, I'm healing all around, right? Like, it is difficult work. But it is work worth doing. Preparing your mind is crucial.
Number three, pain management tools that you've actually practiced. You will not rise to the occasion. You will fall to the level of your training.
That means practicing breathing techniques before you're in labor. Learning how to use movement, touch, and sound to cope. Training and working with your support person on how to help you so they don't just stand there like a deer in headlights not knowing what to do and waiting for all the instructions from you and you don't even know what to ask for.
You can't just learn these things. You have to practice them until they live in your body and come out automatically when labor kicks in. When you go into fight or flight mode, you're not going to just be like, oh, get the book.
Remember we wrote these things down. Grab the affirmation cards, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wait, what did that crazy girl on that podcast say to us? Practicing them helps them become second nature so that when you're in the moment, they are like a reflex.
Yeah, you might forget one or two things, but if you know most of them, you are going to have something in your tool bag to pull out and implement. So we're not just learning about these things. We are putting them into practice.
Number four, firm boundaries and the confidence to hold them. This is where most women crumble, and I get it. You're vulnerable.
You want to be liked. You don't want to cause a scene. Maybe you're a recovering people pleaser.
Maybe you've spent your entire life trying to fit yourself in this little box. Maybe you've literally never set a boundary and held it in your entire life, but birth is not the time to shrink yourself. You need to be able to say, no, thank you.
I need a minute. We're not doing that. You don't need to be rude.
You just need to be clear. You don't need permission to protect yourself and your peace. And I know that sounds like a lot.
This is not, I'm not trying to pressure you, right? You might be thinking, how am I supposed to do all of that? You can do it. It doesn't have to be perfect. You just have to start making steps in the right direction.
So please, please hear me today. This isn't about doing more to prove that you're strong. This isn't about pressure.
This is about preparation for your peace that day, because when you're truly prepared, you don't have to overthink. You don't have to second guess. You just get to surrender knowing you've already done your part.
We don't prep from panic. We prep from peace because the more you prepare now, the less you will have to fight later. And honey, you're already booked for that day.
Okay. I already know you're going to be doing something else that day. You want to do this prep work now.
I promise. Before I wrap it up today, I want to talk a little bit about why most women don't make it. When we compare the number of the women who wanted an unmedicated birth versus the number of women who actually pulled one off, the, um, the difference is staggering.
And I want to talk to you about the reason why most women don't end up with the birth that they hoped for. Cause I think society has had a little twisted. It's not because they're weak.
It's not because they didn't want it badly enough. It's because nobody told them what it actually takes to pull it off in the hospital. No one told them that the system's rigged against them.
Nobody told them that the things that we're typically told to do for our preparation, like the hospital birth class and going to all our prenatal appointments and asking all the questions and, um, you know, trusting your doctor, nobody told us that those things were going to screw us over, that they were designed for us to become repeat customers and walking advertisements for their system. I'm not saying that interventions are terrible. And there's never a place for medical care and intervention.
Don't hear that today. I'm not anti hospital, anti doctors. I'm anti system.
If I had an issue, I would go to a hospital for care. Pregnancy is not an issue. Birth is not an issue until it becomes one.
And there is no fault in wanting to be in a hospital just in case. But when we walk into a hospital that treats our birth and our pregnancy, like it is something that needs to be managed. That's why we keep getting these crappy, disgusting statistics and why about 45% of new moms are leaving the hospital traumatized from an event that honestly should be one of the very best days of their lives.
Not that it can't still be that, but you don't want to leave feeling the hospital disappointed and discouraged and defeated and violated and all the other things when you could just leave joyful and happy and proud and satisfied and empowered, et cetera. How do you want to feel that day? How do you want to feel on your first day of motherhood? How do you want to feel your first day holding that sweet baby in your arms? Women don't make it because no one gave them the tools. Nobody walked them through the strategy.
Nobody trained their mind with them and their body and their team. Nobody taught them how to do that stuff. We are not taught that stuff.
That's why I created the birth prep course. I created it because I was in those shoes once upon a time. I was that first time mom.
I was the one who got steamrolled. I was the one who was violated. I was the one who was so traumatized leaving that day, sitting on the bed, holding my baby, wondering how the heck am I ever going to do that? That was way worse than anybody told me it was going to be.
I went in thinking I was so prepared. I accomplished my plan of no epidural, but every other intervention in the book was implemented that day. Pitocin, my waters were broken.
I had cervical checks around the clock. They were yelling at me to stop pushing because the doctor wasn't there. Then when the doctor got there, he put his entire hand around my baby's head inside of my vagina, stretching and tearing me unnecessarily.
Then the placenta was literally pulled out of my body. Then my provider sat there and stitched me up. I thought I was finally done.
He looked at my husband and said, hey, I did a few extra for you. You're welcome, like I was an object. Then everybody came swooping in.
Oh my gosh, that was amazing. You did it. Congratulations.
That was so great. You did no epidural. That's a super woman, blah, blah, blah.
I was sitting there with those feelings, thinking they were wrong because everybody was telling me the exact opposite of how I felt. That's why I created a very similar result the next time because nobody taught me this stuff. I had to quite literally learn the hard way.
I'm not going to cry about it, but I don't want you to have to learn the hard way. I don't want you to have nearly half a dozen kids to learn this stuff. It shouldn't be like that.
This is not okay. That's why I do something about it. That's why I get on here every week and talk to you guys.
That's why I created the framework inside the birth prep course so you would literally have everything you needed step-by-step of what you had to do to pull this work off, to go in actually prepared for what you are going to encounter that day. Because you don't just want to want an unmedicated birth. You want to be ready to walk into that hospital and actually do it.
So if you've been planning an unmedicated hospital birth, but you've been kind of hoping it'll just happen, this is your wake-up call. Hope is not a strategy. Your pain tolerance is not a plan, and a supportive provider doesn't guarantee support when you're eight centimeters and vulnerable.
You need a roadmap. You need a strategy. You need a system that actually works.
That's what the birth prep course is for. If you want more information, I put the link in the show notes for you. You can check it out.
And if you have any questions like, is this actually for me? Is this something that I actually need? We can chat about it. Pop in my DMs on Instagram. I'm going to be honest with you.
If you need it or not, I will. I'm not here to fill up this container. I'm here to get women results.
If I don't think this is going to get you results, I don't want you in there. But if you want to learn how to make confident informed decisions, how to train your mind and your body for your labor experience, how to create a strategy-backed birth plan that actually works, how to manage your pain naturally, how to navigate the hospital system without getting steamrolled, how to understand how your body works to birth babies physiologically with your hormones and all of that, you don't have to wing it. You don't have to wonder.
You don't have to wait until things go sideways to figure this out. You can just go and get inside the birth prep course. And I know that was a lot about the course, but it really truly is, I think, the easiest and best and fastest way for me to help you get results.
I'll shut up about it. I just think it's the best way for you guys to be prepared. Real quick recap before I head out.
Don't forget that fantasy versus reality. The system is rigged against you. If someone stands to profit off your decision, you better make sure that you are the one making that decision.
And there are a lot of decisions to make about your birth experience, like a lot. Then you've got your newborn. Oh my gosh, that's a whole different story.
The course has all of that too. So once we know what the reality is, then we need to know what it actually takes to go up against that reality. One, a clear functional strategy.
Two, mental and emotional preparation. Three, pain management tools that you've actually practiced. And four, firm boundaries and the confidence to stand up for them.
And remember, this isn't to stress you out. This is to make sure that you know the things that you need to do so that you can take action on them. And the number one reason why most women don't make it, it's not because they're weak, not because they didn't want it badly enough.
It's because nobody told them what they actually needed to pull it off inside the hospital. So now that you know everything you need to do, let's go prep like we mean it. Okay.
DM me if you have any questions about the course, and I will chat with you ladies on Thursday for some more questions from you, my beautiful, wonderful listeners. Thanks so much for hanging out with me as always. Happy prepping.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
