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Welcome to the birth prep podcast. I'm Taylor, your birth bestie, who's here to support you as you plan and prepare for the unmedicated birth of your dreams. If you're ready to ditch the fear, conquer the hospital hustle, support that bump and bod and walk into the delivery room like the HGIC you were born to be, then buckle up, babe.
This is where it all goes down. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the birth prep podcast. Today's another episode of the HGIC hotline, the part of the week where I answer your questions to help you plan and prepare like the head girly in charge that I know you are.
Today, we're going to be chatting about what to actually ask on a hospital tour, how to really practice your pain management tools. So they don't fly out the window. The second contractions get a little uncomfortable and what to do when someone you love, like your mom wants to be in the room and you're just not feeling it.
Plus there might be a little something exciting coming next week. I'll share a little bit more about that later, but we've got work to do. So let's get into it.
Question number one is from Jenna. What questions should I actually be asking on a hospital tour? Ooh, I love this question. Most hospital tours are, I'm going to make a weird comparison here.
Maybe you'll get it. Maybe you won't, but most hospital tours I think are like when you walk through like the Ikea showroom, like everything looks so great and wonderful, but then you get down the stairs and you're like, wait, where is everything? What am I doing? Where am I at? Where, what, what's going on here? So they're really great at the surface level, cute stuff that you like, you want to know, but like, it's not that important. So instead of asking where the snack cart is or what color the rooms are painted, you're going to want to ask questions that give you insight into policies, the vibes of the hospital and how much support you're actually going to get walking into that place.
So here are a few little questions to tuck in your back pocket to bring with you that day. One, what's your policy on eating and drinking and labor? Now we all, okay. A lot of these questions, we already know the answers to like, we don't have to follow hospital policy because hospital policy is not law, but when you're asking these questions, one, the way they answer, pay attention to that.
The way they answer the questions, if they, you know, skirt around it, if they don't really know how to answer your question, if they, you know, skip a beat, whatever, or if they straight up answer your question really great. And like, this is how we do it, but there's, you know, you get to decide ultimately you can make an informed decision. You know, you're going to get a really good idea on how they answer the question.
Then you're like, Oh, well, Taylor already know that I'm going to be eating and drinking and labor. It's like, okay, but are you going to have to fight them to do it? So if you can get a feel of what it's going to be like, that's the goal here. Well, I have access to intermittent monitoring and movement friendly options like wireless monitors.
What's your standard protocol when someone comes in wanting an unmedicated birth, how often do cervical checks happen? And are they optional? Again, we already know the answer here. You can decline that at any point in time, no matter what, but how they answer will tell you a lot. Can I deny IV fluids or get a saline lock only if needed? Are there tubs, birth balls, peanut balls? You want to kind of understand what's available to you that day, what you might want to bring yourself.
I don't think anyone's bringing a whole tub, but actually I did have a girl a couple of years back. Now that I'm saying, thinking about it, she literally was planning to bring a tub to her hospital birth and, and it didn't go very well. She wasn't allowed to use it, but she did do it.
And I was, I loved it. Anyways, one more that I think is really telling what happens when a patient declines a recommended intervention. Honestly, their reaction to that one will tell you everything that you need to know, and they might have a process for doing that, right? They might have you sign something saying this was recommended and I chose to ignore the medical advice, whatever the case may be, you will get the information in order to navigate that day a lot better.
See if you can pre-register, get a lot of the paperwork out of the way in advance. I know a lot of hospitals do this nowadays where you can get all your information on file so that you don't have to fill out all this paperwork when you get there. Cause ideally, especially for an unmedicated birth, you're going to want to get there when you're pretty deep into labor land.
And while yes, your support team can help fill those out. You want them to be able to be supporting you instead of doing all that work. So anything that can be done in advance, ask about it and get it done before the big day gets there.
There's other more specific questions that you can ask. Like maybe you'd prefer an all female nursing squad, or maybe you want to know about their doula policy. Maybe you want to talk about shift change, what that looks like, what time it happens at.
And if you can request continuity, if things are progressing in that moment, I think the vibe of hospital tours is often about the building and like, here's where you're going to be. And here's the birthing suites and here's the things that are available to you. And that's all really great information to have, but a hospital tour is really your chance to understand whether this is a space where your plan will be supported or if it will be a fight to get what you want.
I want you guys to be ready to walk in, ask your questions, observe what's going on there and choose where you want to birth your baby intentionally. If you go to your hospital tour and you absolutely do not want to birth there, do not birth there, find somewhere else. And if that's your only option to make sure you are totally prepared to walk in there and take ownership of the situation and absolutely bring support to help you pull it off.
Okay. Question number two is from a Lisi. You say we should be practicing our pain management techniques before birth.
How do I actually do that? I'm scared. I'm going to forget to use them when the time comes. Yes, girl.
Thank you for asking this. First off that fear of forgetting what to do when things get intense is totally normal. That is the number one reason why we don't just learn about them.
We train for them. Here's the thing. Birth can be pretty intense, right? You're probably not going to be reading flashcards mid contraction.
You're going to be deep inward. So if a coping strategy is in second nature, it's probably not going to come to top of mind in that moment. Especially once you hit transition, we understand that we're switching from our logical brain to our survival brain.
And it's very, you know, a primal way of going about things. So if it's not deep rooted in there, the odds of you remembering it in that moment are pretty slim. So how do we train for this? Because obviously we can't just create contractions in practice.
We don't have a practice round for our birth experience. So the first thing you want to do is start rehearsing it in your day to day life. Look for opportunities to practice your mindset techniques, your pain management strategies.
Maybe you're practicing your breathing techniques while you're sitting in traffic and you're trying not to get a little road ragey. Maybe you're getting some stretching in and you're practicing those deep guttural moans as you do it. You can practice some hip squeezes with your partner while you guys are getting ready for bed.
Lean on the counter while you're brushing your teeth, have them squeeze those hips. The mindset stuff, you can practice this in so many different scenarios. For me as a mother of five, the top things that come to mind are when you know your kids spill something or there's a mess or you know, you're managing those big emotions and you have to, you know, do the work inside of you so you don't freak out.
You just take a deep breath, calm down, manage your mindset and be like, okay, it's just this, it's just that. We can get through this. This is the solution.
You can even create scenarios where you would need to manage your mindset for like a minute. I've seen women like hold a piece of ice and like manage their thoughts and like, okay, I really want this to be over. And instead of that, it's like, okay, I can do anything for one minute.
My body is totally capable of doing this. I will be okay at the end of this. I'm going to get a break in just a moment.
Pairing your positive thoughts with some nice deep breaths can really help keep your body in check. You can do like a or a stretch that's a little challenging for you. So we can't create actual contractions, but we can create scenarios that would still require the same mental fortitude on top of rehearsing it in your day-to-day life.
You're going to want to teach your support team, the tools as well, your husband, your doula, your mom, whoever is going to be there. They can remind you you're not the only one who needs to know the plan. They're there to support you.
They're there for a reason. Let them do their job and prepare them to do it very well. Set expectations.
Let them know how you want to be supported. Do not forget that you are the head girlie in charge. You're the boss.
They're basically like your employees. Teach them how to do the job. Make sure they're going to do it well.
And if they're not willing and able to do it, how you want it to be done, fire them and pick somebody else. And I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes the daddy of your baby is not the best person to be supporting you during your birth experience. Sometimes moms can be more of a hindrance than a help.
Some people are carrying their fear right into the birth room and projecting it into that space. So make sure everybody is willing and able to support you in the way that you want to be supported that day. And then finally, create muscle memory.
Continue to do these things. Don't just do it one time. Don't just be like, oh, okay, we got in this position.
We did the thing. We know how to do it. Perfect.
The goal is to create an experience where these things like automatically kick in instead of having to overthink it. And we're not aiming for perfection. You might forget a tool or two, but when you've practiced 10 of them, you're going to reach for something that works.
And the real win is when your body feels safe because you've shown it what to expect. And you've shown it that you've got its back. If you're inside the birth prep course, you already know there's a whole section called all aboard the pain train, where we're talking about pain techniques, how to practice them and how to actually put them into play on the big day.
Moving on to question number three from Georgia. My mom wants to be in the room, but I don't want her there help the little exclamation point, girl, I hear you. I feel that.
Let me just say this loud for the people in the back. Just because someone loves you. It doesn't mean they belong in the room.
When you birth your baby, no one is entitled to your birth space. You are allowed to create the space that you're desiring for your experience and that you believe will set you up for your best chance of success that day. And also it's totally okay to just not want certain people there.
Birth is an extremely intimate experience. It makes sense that you want to protect that space and keep things at minimum. And maybe you don't want certain energies in there and all that stuff.
So here's how I would approach this situation. First and foremost, ask yourself, why don't I want her there or him, whoever it is, right? Is it her energy? Is it her anxiety, her tendency to take over or make things about her? You don't need to justify it to anybody, but knowing your own reason will give you the confidence you need to have the conversations and set the expectations. Just because somebody loves you and you love them back, doesn't mean they're an asset to you in the birth space that day.
They could very well be a liability. Putting it that way might sound a little harsh, but you understand what I'm saying. It is essential to protect your birth space.
And some people just do not belong in it. The second thing I want you to do, because I already know how you're feeling. I want you to flip the guilt.
Would I rather feel momentarily awkward about this and have a difficult conversation or would I rather carry long-term resentment because I had an experience that I did not want? This is one of the most vulnerable moments of your life. This is not a spectator event. This is not a performance.
You are not a stage. You are not an object. You're a human being giving birth to literal life.
Your body's going to be going through one of the most intense things it's ever gone through. And then finally, honor her role because she can still be in her grandma role and still be that support for you as, you know, you're her daughter. Like, it makes total sense for her to want to be there for you.
But you can do that. Give her the space to do that without letting her take over your role as the person deciding and the person who's running this space and the person who's in charge of the experience. Her feelings should not be running the show.
So try something like this. Mom, I love you so much and I'm so grateful for your support. But I need this space to feel calm, safe, and focused.
And I've decided it's best for me to have a smaller birth team. And I can't wait for you to meet the baby the very moment we're ready. It's loving.
It's clear. It's you being in charge. And if she throws a fit, let her.
Her feelings are hers to manage. Your job is to protect your peace and your birth. And if that does happen, that's just more evidence that you made the right decision.
It's not about her. It's about you. And she can feel however she wants to feel about it.
I'm not saying her feelings are invalid, but it's not about her. I know this is a really big decision to make. I know this can be a really uncomfortable conversation to have, but don't sacrifice your peace for anybody else's feelings.
That's not HGIC energy, babes. Great questions today, ladies. Thank you for asking those.
If you want to submit your question, the link to do so is in the show notes for you. And if you want to go deeper into planning and preparing for your unmedicated birth in the hospital, the full roadmap for doing so is in the birth prep course. From navigating the hospital hustle to prepping your team, training your mindset, managing pain naturally, and becoming the head girly in charge of your own story.
We do all that and more. The link to join is in the show notes. I'd love to have you.
You can enroll today. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or if you just want to get a feel for if this is the right thing for you and what you need as you prepare for your birth. And remember, I told you something exciting is coming next week.
I'm going to be announcing something exciting to help you plan and prepare for your birth experience. If you don't get my emails yet, first off you're missing out, but you're going to want to sign up for those. So I can send you all the information about this awesome thing coming so that I can send you all the information for this exciting thing.
I'm pumped for it to get on my email list. Just go to the show notes and grab a freebie. I'm going to put all my freebies in there for you.
Find something that you want, like, would use, or just grab one and you don't even have to open it once it's in your inbox. It just puts you on the list to get the emails. And you can obviously unsubscribe at any time, but if you love the podcast, you're probably going to love those too.
So get on the list so you can be the first to know about the awesome surprise coming. Until then, ask better questions, practice like it's the big day, and set boundaries like the HGIC you were to be. As always, happy prepping.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
