To Doula or Not to Doula?: How to Decide if You actually NEED One

Let’s ruffle a few feathers, shall we?

Because if you’ve spent more than five minutes in the birth world, you’ve probably heard this a million times:

“Every mom NEEDS a doula. Especially if you’re birthing in a hospital.”

And listen, I love doulas. Some of them are out here doing God’s work, holding hands, applying counter-pressure, translating medical jargon, and being literal angels in scrubs. But let’s clear one thing up:

A doula is support.
She is not your birth plan. She is not your mindset. She is not your prep work.
And she definitely isn’t your missing piece if you haven’t done the work yourself.

What Is a Doula, Anyway?

A doula is a trained birth support person who provides emotional, physical, and informational support before, during, and sometimes after birth. They’re not medical staff—they’re not catching your baby—but they can help you feel calm, confident, and grounded in the middle of what is likely one of the most intense experiences of your life.

In a hospital setting (which is not exactly known for its cozy vibes), that support can feel like a lifeline. A great doula can...

• Suggest helpful position changes

• Offer counter-pressure and massage

• Help facilitate communication between you and your care team

• Remind you of your goals when the going gets tough

Yes, doulas can be an amazing addition to your birth team. But let’s be honest—

Doulas Aren’t Magicians. They Can’t Do the Work for You.

Too many mommas hire a doula and think they’re good to go.

They skip the mindset prep.
They don’t train their birth partner.
They don’t really learn how to advocate for themselves.
And then when the cascade of interventions hits...they’re shocked.

That’s not a doula problem.
That’s a prep problem.

Hiring a doula doesn’t mean your birth will automatically go the way you want it to. You still need to do the work to understand your rights, prepare your mind, train your team, and figure out how to manage pain and intensity. Confidence is not something you can outsource.

My Hot Take? I’m Team No Doula (And Here’s Why)

I didn’t hire a doula. I became the doula—for myself.

I did the research. I trained my mind. I taught my husband exactly how to support me. I built the kind of confidence that didn’t need extra energy in the room. Because for me, birth is intimate. The fewer people, the better.

That doesn’t mean support is bad—it just means I wanted quiet, peace, and control.
And if that’s not your vibe? Totally cool. If you want someone to tag in when your partner’s tired or to help keep the hospital staff in check, a doula might be a great fit for you.

So… Should You Hire a Doula?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Am I new to the birth world and feeling overwhelmed?

• Is my partner unsure or unprepared to support me?

• Do I have birth-related trauma or anxiety?

• Do I want someone hands-on when labor gets intense?

• Would I feel better with an experienced voice in the room?

If you’re nodding your head, go ahead and look into hiring a doula.
But do it intentionally. Not out of fear. Not because someone told you it’s a “must.”

Now, ask yourself these:

• Do I know what kind of birth I want and why?

• Have I educated myself on my rights and options?

• Have I trained my mind to handle pain, change, and pressure?

• Have I prepped my partner on how to help me?

• Do I feel confident advocating for myself?

If you’re confidently answering yes, you may not need a doula. Because guess what?

You Can Be Your Own Doula.

That’s exactly what I teach inside The Birth Prep Course—how to become your own best birth support, from the inside out. Zero to doula real quick, babes.

Because your birth experience doesn’t rise and fall on whether there’s an extra person in the room.
It hinges on YOU being the Head Girlie in Charge.
Your voice. Your prep. Your power.

Confidence isn’t something we hire out—it’s something we build. And baby, we’re building it on rock-solid prep ✨

And if you do hire a doula, she becomes an amplifier of that—not a replacement for it.

Check out the course and get started today!

Happy Prepping 💖

XO - Taylor